The Real Housewives of Dalls: Bubbles and Brooding By Pop Culture Kelly
Courtesy of TamaraTattles at http://tamaratattles.com
Hello! Tamara was kind enough to let me recap Dallas for all
you lovely TT fans. Hopefully I do her proud and y’all let me come back next
week!
We start where we left off last episode at D’andra and
Jeremy’s anniversary party and of course with the fear of God in Rich’s one
good eye at the idea of marrying Leanne that very night. It is all just a joke
on Rich and Leanne-she ain’t Locken him down that night! Oh D’Andra, you are
such a card!!! D’Andra feels that there are deeper issues as to why they are
taking so long to tie the knot but it remains to be seen what those issues are.
D’Andra and Jeremy make toasts and Jeremy makes a crudely-sweet toast to
D’Andra’s hotness and his horniness towards her. Normally I would find that
inappropriate with children in the room, but Jeremy is so hot and can do no
wrong so whatever. #crush. Stephanie and Leeanne bond at the table and they
share some of their stories of their respective painful pasts. Stephanie opens
up about her suicide attempt which honestly shocked me. They feel they are
getting to know each other on a deeper level which is nice to see. Brandy, who
previously texted D’Andra declining the party invite, arrives with a gift and
an agenda: she wants to speak to D’Andra to clear the air. She’s upset that
D’Andra has disparaged her and wants to find out why, but she also is in such a
great place with the new baby that she doesn’t want to dwell. Cary is happy to
escort Brandy and her potential argument over to D’Andra. Leeanne is concerned
that it will not end well and the girls hover by to observe the big talk. It’s
civil and probably disappointing to most of the girls (I see you Cary!). But
Brandy and D’Andra decide to move on from any issues and the party ends on a good
note, with a drunk Stephanie (good drunk not scary Dorinda drunk!) attempting
to ride a Lion statue that’s in front of D’Andra’s home. Yes, I just typed that
sentence.
Stephanie is meeting her party planner to plan a
housewarming/Brandy adopted Bruin party. They are calling it a “Bubble and Bru”
party, part champagne/part Bruin. They’ve kept the adoption on the down low so
everyone (minus Cary and Stephanie) will be learning of the adoption and
meeting the baby for the first time. The God-awful living room pool is gone and
the house really does look beautiful. Stephanie spent 1.7 million in
renovations and it looks absolutely worth it. Stephanie calls Brandy to go over
the guest list and Stephanie encourages Brandy to invite Leeanne and D’Andra ,which
Brandy agrees to.
D’Andra arrives at the Ultimate Living office where Dee is
currently at the helm. D’andra discusses rebranding with the marketing
department who are on board with modernizing and rebranding. They are focusing
on Green Miracle, which is their flagship product. D’Andra decides this is the
time to talk to Dee about the marketing. Tension is in the air with these two,
as things haven’t been the same since Mama Dee wrastled the keys to Ultimate
Living (and financial freedom) away from D’Andra. D’Andra holds her own, attempting
to discuss packaging and rebranding with soft pouches. Mommy Dee is channeling
her best Joan Crawford: No soft pouches. NO SOFT POUCHES EVER!!!!!!!!!! She is
not having it. It seems like Mama Dee, who started the company from the ground
up and has been in control of all marketing/branding decisions, is having a
very hard time letting go and deferring to D’Andra, who is coming from a
different perspective. D’Andra is looking to widen the consumer base whereas
Mama Dee unwilling to pander to a new base and potentially lose faithful
consumers. Clearly this has been long
simmering as Mama Dee pulls out the only child/you’re secretly jealous of me
card. Yikes. D’Andra insists she’s not jealous of her mother and in her talking
head points out that youth, a stable marriage and baby like skin are on her
side. I mean…if Mama Dee wasn’t 77 they
could be siblings the way they are arguing. Anyway, Mama Dee claims D’Andra
verbally abused her over the phone the last time they spoke-which was a month
ago. Dee controls every aspect of D’Andra’s finances and D’Andra fears they
will never have a decent mother/daughter relationship with Dee manipulating
D’andra through the purse strings.
Stephanie has her mother, grandmother and grandfather over
for dinner. They are deeply religious which Stephanie finds has gotten her
through tough times. Stephanie and her mom go upstairs where Stephanie tells
her mom how she and Leeanne bonded over their difficult pasts and how it’s
thawed some ice between them. Leeanne opened up about her 4 past suicide
attempts and Stephanie tells us that when she was 22 years old, she had tried
to commit suicide herself. She was in an emotionally abusive relationship that
made her feel worthless and constantly judged and when that ended, she felt she
had lost her friends and couldn’t handle it. Thankfully her mom was home at the
time and when she took a bottle of pills, she went into her mom’s room to tell
her what she had done. Her mom called an ambulance immediately, and her mom
tears up when she thanks her again for telling her what she had done before it
was too late. Stephanie felt guilty about putting her family through that pain
but her mom is nothing but proud of her, especially for opening up to Leanne
and letting her know she’s not alone in her pain. The love is real in this
scene and I want to hug them both.
Cary and Mark are renovating their home so they are now
staying at Cary’s parent’s house while her parents stay at another house out of
town. Mark is cooking dinner for Cary and Zuri and Zuri is growing up fast!
Cary claims she’s not as Type A as her parents but Mark disagrees. Shocker.
Leeanne goes to a shop with her friend Jeannette and shop
owner Cassie who has helped her “create” a, for lack of better words, a “build-a-dress”.
There are 4 different variations of a black dress: one with ruffled sleeves,
one with a fishtail you snap on, one with a cape and one with it all. Leeanne
dubs it “the Infinity dress”. Leeanne dreams of it being on a shopping network.
Honestly, I don’t get it but Leeanne is acting like her dream just came true so
sure, we’ll go with it.
Brandy is mommy’ing all over Bruin, getting him ready for
his big debut at Stephanie’s party. Her house is very full with 3 kids, her
husband and a million pets and her day must start at 7am to prepare to look
good for 7pm. Same here girl, same. They arrive at Stephanie’s and her house
looks amazing. She went all out for baby Bruin, complete with a cotton candy
machine for the kiddos. Brandy is overwhelmed at Stephanie both for having the
party and for introducing them to Bruin. Stephanie brings the Redmonds to hide upstairs in the bedroom, and
Kameron is the first to arrive with her husband. Both Kameron and hubby are
appalled at Stephanie not being there to greet them. The. Horror. Stephanie
finally comes downstairs and Kameron tells her she’s figured out that it’s a
baby shower for Brandy. Stephanie feels that Kameron missed her calling and
should be a detective and not a pink dog food maker. She throws Kam off the
trail by saying it’s Stephanie who has a surrogate and is expecting a boy, not
Brandy. Kam is happy yet suspicious of this news. I agree with Stephanie-Kam
would be a lot more successful and animals would be much less sick if she stuck
to what she was good at.
Stephanie runs upstairs and tells Brandy that Kam figured it
out, but that her elaborate lie won’t ruin the surprise. Cary knows about Bruin
and brought a gift with a blue bow, which Inspector Kam noticed immediately.
Stephanie confesses that Cary is in on it but seriously, MISSED CALLING!
D’Andra, D’Andra’s boobs, Leeanne and a horses mane that Leeanne cut and glued
on her head arrive next. Cary marvels at D’Andra’s bosom and Stephanie is
delighted that it wasn’t a bitch Leanne cut in order to get that ponytail.
Stephanie is so happy that they are getting along and really, all the girls
are. Stephanie takes the microphone and introduces the Redmonds family,
complete with their adorably ginger new addition. Kam is all upset that
knew/didn’t know/then really knew she knew when she found out with everyone
else. Phew!
That is a wrap for episode 2. Thank you for reading and a
HUGE thank you to Tamara for trusting me to do this. As long as no one sends
soft pouches in protest, I’ll see y’all next week!!
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