Thursday, May 29, 2014

The lost art of kindness...a break from the Pop Culture nonsensicalness

I know this is a pop culture blog, but with Kimye getting married and my refusal to read/blog about it, I figured I would touch upon a subject that SHOULD have more relevance than it does-and that is kindness. My first act of kindness today is not blogging about that wedding (you're all welcome!). The subject of this here blog came out of the blue and truly sent my brilliant mind spinning. This past weekend I took a test  that I have spent MONTHS studying for. A few friends of mine took it with me and we all went out after to have a drink, decompress and compare how we think we did. Immediately I thought I did HORRIBLE. I lamented about it and the others had different reactions: they all felt fairly confident that they did well. My friend said something so profound, so kind and so genuine that it inspired this blog. He said "I wish you had confidence. You do the hardest job in the world every single day-you're a single mom raising an amazing kid. You work your ass off, you have a great family and great friends. You're so sweet and generous and have so much to offer-you have to know that. You should have confidence Kel." And though his words were tremendous and sweet, it was the manner to which he said them that struck me: so genuine and so KIND. So that made me think of others and how they react to kind words. I recently met a guy who is a single dad raising his 6 year old daughter. Her mother isn't around so it's him raising her alone. I said "Wow, it's rare that you meet a man who is willing to raise his child alone. It's amazing what you're doing" and he looked at me like I had 8 heads. He said "You're doing the same thing. It's what we do. What would we do otherwise?" He deflected that compliment so quick that I realized it's kind of what we do. We take a kind word and deflect it, maybe in an attempt to be humble,but we then take criticism and hurtful words and allow that to define us. I speak for myself when I say that I have taken the words and actions of people I have cared about that have NOT cared about me and bought into that a million times more than the kind words and actions of people that actually DO care about me day in and day out. I bought into it a hundred and ten percent. "Ok, so since I didn't react the way she thought I should react, I'm a bad friend". Or "Ok, he just up and stopped talking to me so I must be that forgettable and awful". When the truth is, the people that care are still around. They take me for who I am, overreactions, flaws and all. And I take them the exact same way. We can go a day or weeks without talking to each other but we never, EVER make each other feel like that one act of something we may not like ends an entire relationship. Because it doesn't. Not the real ones anyway. So if anyone needs an act of kindness, come this way. Even though my friend has no idea how much of an impact he made on me with what he said, I have made a promise to pay it forward to my family, friends and anyone that walks in my life which includes anyone reading this. It's time to be kind-to treat ourselves and the people around us with kindness. You have no idea what another person is battling and your kindness-whether it be genuine words or a genuine act of some sort-could truly make a huge difference in some one's life. So be nice, be genuinely kind-or at least try hard not to be mean. The world has such a shortage of kindness that your kindness WILL truly make a difference. Next blog we will resume pop culture nonsense, thank you for indulging me in this one! =)

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