Tuesday, April 29, 2014

A-Z Challenge: You forgot something...

This post is dedicated to one of my all time favorite movie moments. I think we all have them, at least a few times in our lives. A movie moment is when something so rare and special happens it could only be compared to a movie. The downfall is, when you go to explain it or blog about it, it may not translate because unless you were there to see it, it just doesn't measure up. I'm going to give it a try now though! This movie moment happened MANY years ago. My friends and I were out at our favorite bar when we happened upon a group of guys who were visiting from South Jersey. I had no idea there was even a South Jersey, but they had the southern accents and everything so of course it was legit =)  Anywhoodle, we got to talking and they were only here for a week due to work. They were pretty awesome guys, a lot of fun and we ended up hanging out with them most of the week they were here. There was one guy in particular, Jeremy, who I hit it off with the most. He was tall, dark and handsome-just like the leading man in a movie usually is. After all these years I can still remember he had aqua blue eyes that were pretty phenomenal. But I digress. So Jeremy and I bonded pretty much from the get-go. The week ended and the night before they were all leaving to go back home, we had all gone to a club. We danced and had a blast. We found a Dunkin Donuts that was open and this had to be about 2-3am by this time. We all didn't want to say goodbye but we knew we had to. So we all took turns saying goodbye and Jeremy and I saved each other for last. It was really hard for some reason and we kind of said a lame goodbye and headed off to our own cars to leave.( now to set the scene correctly, it started to rain at this point. This is key and will add to the dramatic effect of what happens next. You're welcome). I got in my car and I said to my friends "This can't be the way we say goodbye". Jeremy must have been thinking the same thing because (at the encouragement of my friends to go say goodbye properly) as I jumped out of my car and yelled "Jeremy!", he was getting out of his truck and yelled "Kelly!".  We ran to each other and I didn't know what else to say so I said "You forgot something". He smiled and said "Oh yeah? What?" I said "This" and we kissed. We kissed in a pretty much abandoned parking lot, in the rain, at like 3am. At first our friends were all cheering and clapping as people do in movies, then I think after a while they got bored because it turned into more "ok lovebirds, let's go!". (Plus, while rain can be romantic, it also leaves you soaked and cold. You don't see that part in the movies though!) So we said our final goodbyes and that was it. We continued to keep in touch a bit but slowly we just stopped emailing and calling. But I will always look back at that night as one of the best movies moments of my life...and I hope he does too! =)

Monday, April 28, 2014

A-Z Challenge: X is for the dreaded eX

Oh my God, I've missed two blogs (kill me!) and now after this one there are only two left! Wow. This has been such a great challenge-thank you Kevin for suggesting that I do it. A lot of it has been cathartic but, like you, I am always thinking about the next word will be!

This one will be short and sweet because, lets face it, there is only so much you can say about an eX. They are an eX for a reason. Some taught you things, other taught you about you NEVER want to have again...and some you have figured out aren't bad people but you're better off as friends. Currently I am at the voodoo doll phase with my eX but that's neither here nor there! ;0  What it comes down to is that they were in our lives for a reason. Some we may even encounter again at another time and maybe give it another shot. Who knows. But one thing I have learned from having several eXes is that they all have one thing in common: they were batshit stupid enough to ever let me go. That is all! =) Hahahahhaahahahaha. Jussssssssst kidding! They all are, for the most part (somewhere in their souls) good guys who did teach me different things. They taught me what I do and I don't want in a relationship, they taught me that I would rather be alone then feel alone with someone right next to me, and they taught me how that no matter how bad the heartbreak, I can get through it. And the one gave me my son, he is the one I will be forever grateful to because, regardless of how we ended or how things are now, he taught me what unselfish, pure, true love is when he gave me my son. So that's about it I guess. Feel free to vent about your eX in the comments because I am thinking that will be next blog idea. A forum where we can all go to read about each other's situations and maybe help when we can. But we shall see! =)

Game of Thrones-Still not over Jamie. Not even a little.

So I am behind in my GOT recaps-and I will try to sum them up below. But the thing that I cannot get out of my head is Jamie raping Cersei on Joffrey's casket. Now, I hate Cersei like everyone else. BUT, no one deserves that. And for JAMIE to be the one to do it??? Yes he's incestuous and he wasn't always a good person. But I feel like the show went far to redeem him only to ruin him for good. Losing his hand, swearing to Catlynn that he would return her girls if they were alive, his friendship with Brienne...this was all to redeem him. I just cannot believe that he is now a rapist. I don't care if Cersei is the worst person in the world, it makes me so sad that now Jamie will forever be the guy who raped his sister on their son's casket (ewwwwe that is the grossest sentence I've ever typed!). Cersei was horrible to Jamie, she played games with him, she was vicious and cruel...but she is still a woman with a right to say NO. And she did say it, several times. She begged him not to do it there, on her dead son's casket....two weeks later and I still can't shake it. And there was zero mention of it last night! The one scene they had it was Cersei making sure that Jamie would find Sansa and kill her and she kept up her stance that Tyrion killed Joffrey. She was drinking, clearly distraught and dismissed him as a "Guardsman". Jamie seemed to be remorseful but no mention of it at all...it's just wrong. I'm so upset still and probably will be for a long time. =(

Dany gained control of Meeren and decided to repay the slave masters back by crucifying them the way they crucified the children. She showed no mercy and I'm not sure what that will eventually mean for our dear Khaleesi. It was pretty cold blooded...but, like she said "Fight Injustice with Justice".

Bronn and Jamie have another session and (quite hilariously!) Bronn beat Jamie by taking his gold hand off and smacking him with it! lol. Bronn really likes Tyrion and it became clear when he guilted Jamie into going to see him and telling him that Tyrion thought of Jamie as his "champion". So a guilt ridden Jamie goes to visit his brother. Tyrion lets Jamie know that he would never have killed his son and Jamie believes him. But Jamie feels helpless as to how to help his brother.

Little Finger has Sansa and he tells Sansa that he did indeed help to kill Joffrey but he didn't do it himself. There was an accomplice. And though I knew who it was, I couldn't believe it was revealed last night! Margeary and her grandmother are in the garden preparing to say goodbye. Granny Olenna starts a story with how she was so good at manipulating men (in the bedroom) and that is how she married who she did, not "some Targaryean". She is telling her granddaughter not to let an opportunity to manipulate Tommen into marrying her. She admits to killing Joffrey telling her granddaughter "You didn't think I'd let you marry that beast, did you?". I KNEW IT!! Not to brag but I totally called it. Read back for verification! lol. Anyway, Margeary pays Tommen a visit to his room when he's almost asleep. I'm sorry, I have a son who is slightly younger than Tommen. It made me physically ill when she was trying to seduce him. I think it made her ill too. THANKFULLY, she merely kissed him on the forehead and said goodnight. But still. Blech. Tommen had sweet dreams that night for sure though. AND Tommen has a cat named "Ser Pounce". LOVE that!

Jamie goes to Brienne and gives her a mission: to find Sansa and bring her safely to her crazy Aunt Lysa (where she is heading anyway-and so is Arya!). He had a suit of Armor made up for her and he gifted her with the Valyrian sword his father gave him. Now this scene is pure new-Jamie. He is totally going against Cersei by keeping his oath to protect Sansa and he gave away the sword his father made for him because he feels Brienne will use it best. They really care about each other. Jamie asks what Brienne will name her sword and Brienne pointedly says "Oathkeeper". Awwwwe.  Jamie sends my sweet little Podrick with her. I just love him.

There's a long scene with Bran and crew and basically they get captured and brought to Craster's Keep where the women are raped and the men are savages. Ugh. Jon Snow and a very small army of brothers are heading there as well so hopefully they will save Bran and crew (one is a girl remember) from certain torture and rape. The last Caster baby is born and is going to be sacrificed "to the gods" as per Caster's rules. Any scene with a baby on this show automatically puts me on edge so I held my breath for most of the last 15 minutes. The babies are turned over to the White Walkers in order for them to grow their tribe. THANKFULLY the babies are turned by just an ugly white walker fingernail touching their cheeks. Pheeeeeeew. I couldn't bare to see a baby harmed and especially that baby-that baby was too cute!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

A-Z Challenge: U is for U suck

Since my friend Kevin stole my word (unfriend-here's his blog link: http://whowouldathought-kevin.blogspot.com/ and if anyone hasn't read it U SUCK!!) I am just going to free form it with a list of top ten things that suck. And, if you take offense to it, U probably suck too.

1. U suck if you're judgemental and holier than thou. You are not better than anyone else and believe me, the glass house u live in will crash down around you. BECAUSE U SUCK.

2. U suck if you in any way, shape or form support the Westboro Baptist "Church". U SUCK and everyone but you knows why.

3. U suck if you are against gay marriage or adoption. There is such a shortage of love in this world, who the hell do you think you are to stop anyone from loving each other? And bringing love to a child who desperately needs it??? U SUCK and even God dislikes you if you are spewing your hate in His name. Losers.

4. U suck if you start a relationship with no intention of sticking around for the duration. You know, the ones who are in it until shit gets real. U SUCK HARDCORE. And karma is a bitch. FYI.

5.  U suck if you drive in the far left lane, drive 40MPH and refuse to merge to the middle or right lane where you belong. U SUCK and I wish nothing but potholes in your future.

6. U suck if  you have a perma-stick up your ass. Seriously. Life is short, have a little fun. Maybe be bold and crack a smile. If not, stay home and contain your misery to your own home. U SUCK. Lighten up before that stick really starts to chafe. Invest in some Vaseline yo.

7. U suck if you are a Yankee fan. No explanation needed. #YANKEES SUCK and so do you.

8. U suck if you think you're special enough to take up two parking spaces in a busy parking lot. U SUCK and deserve the key scratches along your door. Dick.

9. U suck if you are on the phone while checking in at a doctor's appointment. The secretary is trying to check you in, verify your information so that you don't get a bill AND keep the doctor on time. U SUCK and if you think it's that important to talk about the new nail color you have on and keep everyone waiting, just leave and don't ever come back.

10. U suck if you read this list and cannot identify with at least 4 of the above. U SUCK but please continue to read my blog. Because you don't suck THAT bad...=)

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

A-Z Challenge: T is for Textpectation

Expectations are the silent killer of all relationships. Add technology to that and it becomes a landmine that blow some relationships to bits. Textpectations. Quite simply textpectation is when one is waiting for a text that may or may not come. It's the anticipation, the butterflies you get if it's coming from someone you think is special or maybe it's coming from someone whom you are waiting for an answer to something. Regardless, the end result of textpectation can only lead to one of two things: happiness or sadness. It's pretty polarizing honestly. When starting a new relationship, the textpectations are high. You want texts-and you want them a lot. You want the "good morning  hope you have a great day" text. You want the midday "hope you're having a great day, mine is going well" and of course, the "good night sweetie, sweet dreams" text. And they usually come in the beginning and start to wane once everyone is comfortable. You may still get the good morning text but the midday and the good night ones fall to the wayside. That leads to textpectation sadness. And once they stop coming all together...its textpectation spiral. As much as I love technology, I hate it at the same time. When on a textpectation high, technology is wonderful: "Isn't it great that we don't have to call each other? That if I'm at work I can sneak a quick text to check in and see how he's doing. Le sigh. It's sooooo great. Life is amazing". Then, when the texpectation sadness kicks in, it's: " I freakin hate technology. I hate it. He's all over Facebook, he played me in Words with Friends, he snapchatted, updated his twitter, took an Instagram but hasn't sent a text. What the heck??" It's AWFUL. Textpectations can be great or they can royally suck. Can't wait to see what the next invention to come out that will ultimately disappoint us and can cause more ways to put relationships to the test. Cannot. Freakin. Wait.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A-Z Challenge: S is for Sargasm

So we discussed Nerdgasm's back on the "N" day, now it's time for Sargasm. Sargasm is the happiness you get from sarcastic comments-either making them or hearing them. Now I don't know about you, but I HAVE to laugh at least once a day. Even though this past month plus has been my personal hell and doesn't look to be changing anytime soon, I still have to laugh at some point during the day. I am surrounded by some of the funniest people on the planet, truly. My family, friends and co-workers are some of the best, funniest people I know. And they all one thing in common-they speak sarcasm fluently. A good sargasm can change a bad mood into a good one-even if it's temporary. When my best friend and I are together its sargasm's galore: Many years ago we were traveling and we were in an airport waiting for our flight. Now, in my defense, it was early in the morning and I either had to talk to keep awake or fall asleep right there in the airport. I talked for a FEW minutes (according to her it was hours) and I said "Ugh the roof of my mouth hurts". She said "OMG maybe it's because you won't stop talking???" I was so shocked because it was pretty early in the morning but then we both burst out laughing and laughed for quite a while.  Another one: Her: "Wow, there's Jim Caviezel! Jim Caviezel is here!" Me: "That is NOT Jim Caviezel. What freakin part of that guy looks like Jim Caviezel????" Her "Ummmm...oh. His hair.His hair looks like Jim's." hahahaha. Humor and sarcasm can go a long way. There is mean spirited sarcasm which I am not a fan of. I'm not into shaming anyone or being sarcastic to someone to be rude. But genuine humor and sarcastic comments make my world go round. They can take something boring and make it entertaining, like waiting for an airplane, waiting for a table in a restaurant or working. I highly recommend sargasm's any chance you can get them!

Monday, April 21, 2014

A-Z Challenge: R is for Rendezbooze

Wow, only 8 more blogs to go! It's been a challenge-a fun challenge, but a challenge nonetheless! OK kids,  today's word is "rendezbooze". It's when you go to a bar after work or with meet up with friends for the sole reason to talk and have a drink. Rendezboozing when I was younger was a very different definition than I have for it now. Sit back and get the popcorn popped kiddies, Granny's about to tell you a story: Back in my day, before camera phones were everywhere and "selfie" was a real term, we used to rendezbooze at clubs. And at said clubs, there was a lot of dancing to be had. A lot of dancing, drinking and a lot of meeting new people. Rendezboozing back then meant starting at 10:00 and staying out until 5am at the very  least 3 nights a week.  Rendezboozing for us old folk now is meeting up at the bar around dinnertime and being home by midnight about twice a month. No dancing. Just talking. It's VERY different. These past few months I've rendezboozed  a bit more ( it's a major stress reliever. It costs less than therapy let's face it!). The only time I have alcohol in my house is at holiday's so I feel like it's important to rendezbooze with my peeps.  As a hardworking single mom with a million other things on my plate, it's important to go out and have fun every once in a while. Whether it's a rendezbooze with friends, co-workers (who are friends), a date...it's important to get out and enjoy life a little. I have a rendezbooze this week scheduled and I am particularly looking forward to it. It's with someone I haven't seen in a few years and it will be fun to reconnect. He's extremely funny so I know I will have fun and there is nothing better than mixing a rendezbooze with a funny person. Rendezboozes are so key for adults and, in particular, parents. We get so consumed with work, being parents, making sure everyone else is all taken care of that it's nice to go out, relax and take some time to NOT stress. To make sure that you are connecting with people on a level of silliness and fun. I know for a fact that I am a better mom for taking some "me" time. My son sees a happy mom and it's because I have an outlet for all the stress that goes on daily. My last rendezbooze was with my best friend a week ago who is a first time mom. Her son is only 6 months old and she hasn't been able to rendezbooze in a while. So we went out and had a BLAST. It was so much fun to get out, to get together again and to just have fun. We talked a lot, we got silly and we were able to let go for a few hours. It was so needed for the both of us. She woke up the next day refreshed from it and I did as well. Of course rendezboozing now is different now from when we were younger but hey, it's still fun. And it's necessary in my opinion. So rendezbooze kiddies, rendezbooze whenever you can. It's highly recommended from Granny Kelly. And Granny Kelly is never wrong! =)

Saturday, April 19, 2014

A-Z Challenge: Q is for Quarterlife Crisis

It seems like only yesterday I was turning 25. Two years goes fast!! Hahaha. Quarter life crisis is a real thing. It's when you are young, living life oblivious to what aging actually means, then all of a sudden reality crushes in reminding you are not invincible and you are getting OLD. My Quarter life crisis happened when my friends and I were preparing to celebrate my turning the big 2-5.That is when something funny happened: all of a sudden I didn't want to celebrate or, more accurately, I didn't want to turn 25. We had arrived at the club that we frequented a LOT. My favorite bartenders were working and they were hooking me up with birthday drinks, my favorite DJ was playing all of our songs...and yet I did not want midnight to come. I liked 24. There was nothing substantial in that age number. I was about to turn a quarter freakin century old!! What the hell is that?!?!? A quarter century felt like a shackled death sentence. I started to cry, right there on the dance floor. It suddenly felt so overwhelming and time felt like it was going too fast. I LOVED where I was in my life. I had great friends, I was young, had fun wherever I went...would all that have to stop??? My best friends saw my tears and immediately took me to a table. I told them why I was crying and how stupid I felt, but it all hit me hard at that point. One of them said something I will never forget. She said: "The only thing that has to change is the digits. You are always evolving, growing. We are here tonight to celebrate the fact that you were born, that you are loved-the number you're turning has nothing to do with it. We love you and when you age, we all age. We grow together and that's what makes it worth it. Now stop it because there is an hour until midnight and we are going to shake our asses and celebrate your birth!!" So I dried my tears and celebrate we did. After that, turning 30 was a piece of cake...not sure what will happen when 40 comes. All I know is the same friends that got me through my quarter life crisis are still here getting me through every other crisis...so as long as they are still here for the big 4-0 I'll be alright =)

Friday, April 18, 2014

New A-Z Challenge:P is for Places

Ok, had to do a new blog because the last one was too depressing, even for me. So this one is geared toward the top five places I want to go before I die. With all that's happened this week, it's kind of amped up the bucket list process and I'm going to actively look to do these things in the next ten years.

1. Go somewhere-ANYWHERE-with a swim up bar. That is honestly my dream to just be swimming then say "hmmm. I'm parched. I could use a refreshing adult beverage right here in the water" then swim up to get said beverage. Sigh. It WILL happen!
2. Alaska. I think it would be amazing to see the Northern Lights, the caves that look stunning...it would be a dressmaker trip.
3. Disney. That will hopefully happen soon with the kids but Ive never been to Disney either, so when we go it will be a first for the three of us!
4. England. I swear I was British in another life. I can do an accent like noone's business, I have a Princess complex and English guys are the hottest to me. I have to go "home" and drink in a pub with my peeps. Someday
5. Hawaii. One of my best friends lives there and it will be a mission to go see her, see the beaches and view paradise first hand.

So that's the revised, not so depressing P blog. The swim up bar has to happen like whoa. I'm jealous of anyone who's done it!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

A-Z Challenge: O is for "Oooooh shit!"

My "O" word for today is in honor of my son's first swear word. Now let me explain: I'm from Massachusetts. We swear here. It's kind of our thing. I mean, around children we try hard not to but...sometimes it slips. My son is not allowed to swear at all, and at almost 9 years old he doesn't even accidentally say one. I REALLY try hard to not swear around my son and I'm good about 98% of the time. But my son has always been very vocal. His first word was at the age of 4 months (not a swear!) and he's been talking ever since. I had to be careful from a very early age to watch my potty mouth, but I slipped here and there. One particular time I slipped, we were getting ready to go meet my (now)brother in law's family for Mother's Day dinner. My son was about two years old at this point (I had done very well watching my tongue up to this point thank you very much!) and I was getting him dressed to go to dinner. We were in a bit of a rush, I went to go get something and dropped it. So my immediate reaction was "Oh shit!" I caught myself, looked at him and said "Now baby, do NOT say that word. It's a bad word and Mommy shouldn't have said that. I'm very sorry. I won't say that again". He looked at me and said "Ok". And that was it. We go to dinner and the table is full of family members we really didn't know too well at this point. The waitress came over with some bread. This is when the restaurant decided to go radio silent and my son decided he would get super excited and loud. He shouted at the top of his little lungs "OOOOOH SHIT MAMA BREAD! SHE BROUGHT BREAD! OOOOH SHIT I LOOOOOVE BREAD MAMA!!!! BREAD IS SOOO GOOD!!!" And that's when I turned 18,000 shades of red and wanted to sink under the table and die. Everyone must have seen the mortification on my face because instead of being all judgy the whole table (and the surrounding ones) burst out laughing. It was very innocent and I of course told him (again!) he couldn't say that word...but that was the first time my son said a swear. He hasn't said one since I'm proud to say, and my sister's now husband decided to marry into this potty mouthed family regardless of that incident. It's a story I will be repeating that story to his prom date, any girls he decides to bring home and anytime I can embarrass him if he decides to ever catch a teenage attitude. But all's well that end's well!! =)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A-Z Challenge: N is for Nerdgasm

To anyone that knows me, this is no secret: I love nerds. Like, really, really LOVE nerds. They make my heart happy. The nerdier the better. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory is my idea of the most perfect nerd ever (though I can't say I'd have the patience Amy Farrah Fowler has to deal with him. Their first kiss was pretty amazing and I would be demanding a LOT more after that. Just saying). A nerdgasm is when you get an intense, happy reaction to anything nerdy. But to have a really good nerdgasm, you have to find a nerd with a similar nerdiness to yourself. Like for me, I have nerdgasm's whenever I get to talk in depth about "The Game of Thrones" or "The Walking Dead". Sigh. I can nerd out for hours on those topics.  And, since this seems to be the week of confessions, I will make one again today: I have a very important job related test in May. In all my nerdiness, I promised myself that if I pass it I will buy myself  "The Game of Throne" books and allow myself to read them all over the summer. Now, as a single mom who barely has time to breathe, this is a huge treat I'm allowing myself  #supernerdalert. It's more motivation and it will surely bring me a nerdgasm if I pass. Win/Win. I usually have a nerdgasm a few times a week. Since I work with the public and with all different kinds of people, it's fairly easy to do. A nerd will walk in and I will be all over said nerd like white on rice. I casually bring up TWD or GOT, the nerdiness takes over and it's all nerdgasm from there. We both have a better day because of it. I fancy myself a nerdcicle (sweet nerd) or nerdcess (nerd princess). And I am constantly on the lookout for a fellow nerdcicle or nerdcess to befriend. So if that's you, feel free to talk nerdy to me. Nerdgasm will surely follow! =)

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

A-Z Challenge: M is for Masturdating

I have a confession: I cannot masturdate. It's scary. It goes against all that I was taught and it just feels wrong. Dirty, shameful and wrong. For those who aren't aware what masturdating is, it's the act of going on "dates" by yourself. Going to the movies, going to dinner, going to get a drink...all by yourself. And I can't do it. I know, I know. The empowered, independent woman today can do anything alone! We are suppose to be able to go to a movie or dinner alone and enjoy it but I cannot. I have to have someone with me. My girlfriends and I will go to movies. We will go to dinner, get drinks, etc. I will take my son and niece to a movie, to dinner just the three or two of us. No problem. My family and I will go out a lot and that's great. And of course I love to do those things with the guy I'm dating. But to go alone? Can't do it. I am independent in every other aspect of my life: single mom taking care of my my family, don't need help from anyone, blah blah blah. I can remember years back after a break up I decided I  was going to attempt a masturdate. I could do whatever I wanted, I didn't need him and gosh darn it, I wanted to go to a movie! No one else was available to go so I decided I would go. Alone. And I didn't like it. There was no one to make fun of the bad acting with, no one to discuss the obvious plot twists with...I felt it was very lonely. There are people that LOVE to go the movies alone-honestly I salute you. And another confession: I have never even attempted to go to dinner alone because the thought scares me . For those who love it, I salute you as well. It's probably really silly but I'm being honest and it really scares me. If I get the rare opportunity to be alone (happens maybe once or twice a year!) I will order take out, grab a book, get in comfy cozy pj's and relax on the couch. That is my idea of an amazing masturdate. Because, and let's be real here ladies, if I'm putting make up on, doing my hair and getting dressed in clothes other than pj's and getting a babysitter-there's going to be another person there to appreciate the effort damn it. Because otherwise, it's just not worth it! At home, the bra and make up come off, the hair gets thrown up in a bun, the comfy cozy pj's come on and it's awesome. For those who masturdate and love it, kudos. I truly admire you. But masturdating just isn't for me.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Ding Dong King Douchebag is dead!!!!!

JOFFREY IS DEAD!!! The weaselly, horrid, horrific young king is dead and it was amazing! Now, that doesn't sound nice because he was so young, basically Justin Beiber if he were given the power to rule a kingdom. He was young, dumb and drunk with power. But he was also vicious, killed our beloved Ned Stark without a thought and tortured Ned's daughter afterward. He is despicable but he's GONE! Whoo hoo!!!

We will get to the death in a minute but some other things did happen in this episode besides the BEST WEDDING EVER. The show opens with the horrific Ramsay and his girlfriend hunting a terrified girl with Theon/Reek following behind a couple of dogs. The poor girl made the mistake of being pretty and that enough was reason to hunt her, torture her and have her mauled to death by the dogs. It was HORRIFIC but it really drives home how sadistic Ramsay is to people other than poor Theon. Poor Theon. He really is poor Theon now. After being brutally tortured and having an important, umm..appendage removed, he is a broken man. He is now named "Reek" and he does the bidding of his torturer even though you can still see how much it tears him up. He was visibly repulsed by what happened to the girl but is powerless to do anything about it. So Daddy Bolton comes home, fresh off of killing Robb and Catlynn Stark at the Red Wedding. He comes boasting in and is displeased with how his "bastard" son Ramsay SNOW handled Theon. Theon was suppose to remain uncastrated and of value to barter. Ramsay had taken it upon himself to attempt to barter Theon but Theon's father wasn't having it. Bolton is angry about this turn of events and berates him for overstepping. Ramsay then wants to show Daddy a trick of how useful he actually is-he has Theon/Reek give him a close shave with a razor blade, all the while mentally torturing Theon and making him tell his father how Theon did NOT kill the young Stark boys. Daddy was impressed and he sees what power Ramsay has on Theon/Reek. He orders Ramsay to take Theon/Reek and overtake Moat Caitlin to prove his worth. Oh Lawwwwd this should be fun =(

Tyrion and Jamie have a great scene over dinner. Tyrion is eating and drinking while Jamie isn't. Tyrion says "What is it with no one eating? You lost a hand not your stomach". LOL!  The brothers have an odd relationship-you have to wonder if Tyrion isn't a little pleased that the golden boy is no longer so golden. Tyrion toasts to the "Proud Lannister children: The Dwarf, The Cripple and the Mother of Madness". God I love Tyrion. Jamie then trusts his brother with the knowledge that he can't fight anymore. He isn't good left handed and he can't trust anyone with that. Tyrion, seeing how much his brother needs him, tells him that he knows just the right person to help him train using his left hand and get his power back-Bronn. Bronn tells Jamie to meet him at the place he takes his mistress. Jamie doesn't fully trust him yet but Bronn begins the lesson anyway. Back to Tyrion, he has some girl problems. Varys tells him that Shae was spotted with him and that the King and Cersei will have her killed. Tyrion decides once and for all to end things with Shae in order to save her life. She truly loves him and will not leave him otherwise. He tries at first to be nice, to tell her that he set her up with a castle and servants in Pentos...Shae ain't havin it. She tries to seduce him,  tells him she's not afraid of the King and Cersei but Tyrion knows better. So then, and this was hard to watch, he got mean. Really mean. He told her she's a whore, he can't love a whore. She basically was his favorite plaything for a while but now he wants to have children with his wife. It's clearly killing him to say these things but he feels that this is the only way. Bronn comes in to escort Shae to the ship leaving for Pentos-and Shae slaps Bronn HARD and leaves crying. It was so sad to watch =(  Poor Tyrion.

There are a few other scenes before the wedding that I will just briefly touch on. Stannis is still listening the "witch" and killing his people by fire. She visits the daughter but Stannis is very protective of her. We see Bran finally! He's getting big. Bran is still having visions-it looks like he sees the past (RIP NED) and the future maybe? Snow falling in the house where the throne is. The dreaded winter perhaps???

So now the wedding stuff!  They have what looks to be a wedding shower where Joffrey is presented with gifts. Tyrion gives him a book which is all about the former Kings and Joffrey, though at first looked royally pissed off said with some grace "Now that war is won we should all find time for wisdom". You knew that couldn't last. So then his grandfather presents him with the sword that he made out of Ned Starks sword. And this is where Joffrey is really Joffrey. He is like a child on Christmas and uses the sword to tear Tyrion's book to shreds. He then says "Every time I use this sword it will be like cutting Ned Starks head off all over again". Sansa looks on visibly shaken. The wedding commences which was a short scene. Tyrion meets up with Bronn afterward who assures Tyrion he watched Shae get on the ship and the ship left. Tywin and Olenna are chatting and it seems like she's the only one who can stand up to him. She tells him that she's paid her share for the wedding and that he is basically in her debt. #Damn. So then Olenna makes her way over to Sansa where she's pretty condescending about her "sorrow" over her brother and mother. She makes a comment that didn't seem like anything until after Joffrey died. She said "Killing a man at his own wedding. How horrid! What sort of monster would do such a thing? As if men need need more reasons to fear marriage". LOL! Poor Sansa though. Jamie/Loras and Brienne?Cersei have wierd interactions and the brother/sister making their love for each other known is pretty damn gross. Loras even said, after Jamie told him that Cersei will never marry him, says "she'll never marry you either". BURN! hahahaha. That whole thing is sooo weird and creepy. Blech. Prince Oberyn and his "love" Ellaria (who couldn't wear less if she tried!) see Cersei and Tywin. They immediately start in on each other with double entoundres, Oberyn making it known that he is quite pleased Cersei is the former Queen and that he is there for revenge. Tywin doesn't seemed bothered but he definetly got under Cersei's skin. And it was fun to watch! Watching Cersie get out-bitched will never get old.

Now to the best and final scene: Joffrey's demise. He demonstrates what a little monster he really is when he commands attention from everyone to bring out a "war re-enactment" with dwarfs. Tyrion is visibilly upset, as is Sansa since her brother's name is part of this. They all act like circus clowns (Joffrey's intent) and puts Tyrion on the spot telling him to go fight with the dwarfs. Tyrion stands up to him, not allowing Joffrey to see any humiliation. Joffrey then pours wine on Tyrion's head which Tyrion deems "a spill". Joffrey orders him to be his "cup bearer" which Tyrion calls "an honor", which only angers Joffrey more. He won't stop until Tyrion shows humiliation and Tyrion won't give in. Joffrey intentionally drops the cup, kicks it under the table where Sansa kindly goes under and gets the cup for Tyrion.  Margaery tries to diffuse the situation several times and wins finally when she announces "Oh look! The pie!!" Nothing stops an impending brawl like pie. Hahahaha.  So then Joffrey uses his new sword to slice the pie-and several birds that flew out of it. #Gross. Tyrion and Sansa attempt to leave but Joffrey isn't done. He calls Tyrion over to get him more wine because the "pie is dry". It's then when Joffrey starts coughing. Then choking. Then he falls face forward on the floor where Mama Cersei and Uncle Daddy Jamie go rushing over. She flips him over and you see his eyes all bloody, his face purple-he's dying from the inside out. Cersei is shocked and grief stricken, as is Jamie. Joffrey finally dies after several painful minutes. Dontos appears from nowhere and takes Sansa away saying that "if you want to live you will come with me". Tyrion is looking at the cup figuring out quite quickly Joffrey was poisoned. Cersei points right at Tyrion and orders him to be arrested as he is the killer! I mean, he didn't but she very clearly blamed him.

So who do you think killed Joffrey? So many people had a motive but to me, it comes down to Sansa, Olenna and Margaery. And who will be king now? The little brother Tommen??? I cannot wait for next week!!!

A-Z Challenge: L is for Loyalty

Loyalty is a tricky word today. Most claim to have it but in reality, they don't. I am so lucky to have a circle of family and friends who are loyal to their core but it's taken years of weeding out the ones who claimed to have loyalty but in reality, did not. The people in my life show up, they back up their words with their actions...and I try my best to do the same. The definition of  loyalty is as follows:


  [loi-uhl-tee]  Show IPA
noun, plural loy·al·ties.
the state or quality of being loyalfaithfulness to commitmentsor obligations.
faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause,etc.
an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: man with fierce loyalties.

And when it comes to relationships, I am fiercely loyal. If  I'm in, I'm in and there is no amount of temptation or anyone else in the world that can change that. There is just no other option as far as I'm concerned. I have been on the receiving end of being cheated on and betrayed. I've been blindsided, hurt and I would never, ever inflict that on anyone else. Ever. So for me it's pretty cut and dry. But I feel like I'm a dying breed as far as that's concerned. The "relationship" I'm in now is unlike anything I've ever been in, not sure what to call it or what to do with it but I am STILL loyal, though I have no idea if the same loyalty is being given to me. I mean, I think it is but who knows? And yet, until the words "it's over" are spoken, there is nothing that could make me change that. It's so strange and yet I wouldn't change it, even if it hurts in the end. Because I know at some point, it will be valued-if not by him then someone else. It will be appreciated, it will be respected. It has to be, right? At some point, karma has to kick around and kick around in a good way. But even if it never does, I can't change it and I wouldn't change it. We are who we are and I think anyone with core values like respect, loyalty and being kind to people are unable to change that regardless of how hurt we get by others. At the end of the day you alone have to live with yourself. I couldn't live with myself if I betrayed someone else and if I betrayed my core values. Loyalty is a huge word and if you don't have it, you shouldn't claim it. Say "I'm kind of loyalish" or "Meh, I'm loyal until it gets hard then I'm out"...something. But people should stop throwing that word around like it's the other "L" word used waaaaaaay too much-Love. And that is the end of my soapbox rant today. I have to write what I feel and this is huge for me right now. So for those who are loyal-stay that way. It will be rewarded in the end. At some point. =)

Saturday, April 12, 2014

A-Z Challenge: K is for Kitchen

The kitchen is where I feel I spend the majority of my time at home. "Mom, can I have a drink? Mom, I'm hungry. When's dinner? Mom, can I have a snack???" Put this on repeat at least 4 times a day, everyday and that's my life.  I like to cook. I'm not a chef by any stretch of the imagination, but nothing makes me happier than when my very picky son and niece actually love something I make. It gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment when the picky ones are actually happy with something that isn't a chicken nugget or pizza. I want them to have memories of the house smelling like home-cooked meals, of how on Sunday's our family dinner would always be so special. I want them to have wonderful memories of their childhood and I know looking back on mine that my mom, grandmother or Aunt would always have something cooking that would bring the family together. We have an island in my kitchen with two bar stools. Nothing makes me happier than having my two favorite little people in the whole world sitting there watching me cook, talking, "helping"....I treasure those moments. It's when we're connecting and I feel like we're making memories they will take with them in the future. The kitchen is the heart of a home for a reason. I believe it's the simplicity of it honestly. It's where the family and friends can come, congregate, eat and spend time together.

A-Z Challenge: J is for Justin Time

So...I'm late for my J blog. I'm sorry!! But it's here, a day late but it's here. For me, there is no other "J" word than "Justin" who is my son, my whole heart and soul. Now, choosing his name ended up being easier than I thought. After my world was rocked when I found out  I was having a boy and NOT a girl, I had to go back to the drawing board for names. I had it narrowed down to five names and after looking up the definitions to all five names, it wasn't even a thought anymore. There was no doubt that Justin it was. It was strong, it meant "Just and Right, Warrior" and it fit. As a single mom I couldn't have my son walking around with a name like "Doodlebug" (though his nicknames run from Jigga Bun Bun, Bubba, Jdizzle, Jman...it goes on! lol)-it had to be strong. And I couldn't think of a single Justin that I know that I didn't like. (That mattered a LOT. You never really know how many people you dislike until you have to name a child btw). His middle name is George, after my dad who had passed away. Justin George, to me, was strong. It fit. And it ended up being pretty accurate as he came just in time. =)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

A-Z Challenge: I is for Introdouche

Introdouche. It may not be part of your vernacular yet but it will be soon! It is when, especially at a bar, someone who is obviously douchey will come and introduce him/herself. It's especially uncomfortable when, after the person introdouches himself, they continue to try to spread their douchiness though the entire table is either in a relationship, married or would rather date a potato than this person. Now, to be fair, this is NOT meant for the decent guys/girls out there who are brave enough to introduce themselves to people they don't know. Not at all. We all know the douches that this is meant for: the ones who think they own the bar,the ones who have zero self awareness and cannot fathom that the seas don't part because they walked in the room, the ones who feel that they are entitled to everyone and everything...the douchebags. An example recently: a few friends and I went out for drinks. We were at a table talking, laughing, minding our own business when two douchekabob's came over and introdouched themselves. We all made it POLITELY clear that we were not interested but the douchekabobs apparently only spoke douche and couldn't understand our polite language. They stayed at our table talking about their douchey jobs and douchey cars. We didn't care. Not even a little. One in particular zoned in on me for some reason and while I was very polite at first, I couldn't deal with Douchey McDoucherson anymore. He repeatedly asked me if my "drink needed to be refilled" and I would make comments like "Why, does the roofie work better if the glass is full?" or "If it needs to be refilled I will have it refilled. Myself. Because I'm handy like that". This national treasure also said "You know, you should ditch the boyfriend. I wouldn't let you out in a bar alone." and I said "Is that what you say to all the girls you have chained to your radiator???? Awesome. How are you single???"  He thought I was hilarious. I thought of putting the dull butter knife left on the table through my eye to make this guy go away. Then I got kind of mad. My friends and I were having a great time and though we're a friendly group and would gladly make conversation with others around us, these two clearly had a douchey agenda and would not take the hint. My friend was on the same page because she finally said "Look. You two seem great and all but we're seriously all set. Thank you for your time but we would really like to get back to our conversation". And with that, they left. And five minutes later we watched them introdouche themselves to another table of girls that looked about as impressed as we were. So to all the douchekabobs out there: calm down on the cologne. Relax on the gold chains and hair gel. If a girl is interested, allow her to make eye contact or SOMETHING first. Or if you really have to, don't introdouche yourself. INTRODUCE yourself. Be real. Introduching yourself only leads to you going home alone without the girl...and without dignity. Reeking of cologne and leaving a trail of hair gel behind.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

A-Z Challenge: H is for Hoopty

Today's H word is close to my heart. It's "Hoopty" for my beloved first two cars. My very first car was a Ford Escort that was passed down to me from my elderly uncle who passed away. I wanted to keep it forever for sentimental reasons, but it was manual steering, manual brakes, manual EVERYTHING-and it was a little two door car which was NOT conducive to driving all my friends around in. But it was a true Hoopty. My uncle tried to keep the engine in good shape but, God bless him, it wasn't. At all. So I had it all of 6 months until it died. I then had to find another car and at 18, all I was concerned about was how it looked and how many friends I could fit in it! So the next Hoopty was what we called "They Yacht"-a Ford LTD. It was enormous. I fell in love the second I saw it. I could just see all my friends and I cruising downtown in this yacht of a car...until after a few months the ceiling of the car literally started caving in. And one fine day my friends, sister and I were driving around and I heard this sound. I felt the car jerking but I think I was in shock and couldn't face what was happening. I was fighting to stop the car and my sister screamed "PULL OVER NOW!!" I screamed back "I'm TRYING!!" The tire had just fallen off. It just, because it felt like it, fell off. Didn't hit a pothole, didn't run over a curb or anything...it just fell off. There were many other issues, the car would overheat randomly, the brake fluid was always leaking...it was another true Hoopty. Seeing as I didn't have a death wish at the age of 19 I sadly had to put the yacht down to pasture. I then got a Toyota Corolla (named Pup Pup) which lasted me the next 10 years. Pup Pup was no Hoopty and I loved Pup Pup very much. But, there is nothing like a Hoopty. They were not perfect, they were damaged and sometimes almost caused my death. The memories those cars hold though, they cannot be replaced. I'm just grateful I survived the two Hoopty's to be able to write about them! =)

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

A-Z Challenge: G is for Googleheimer's

I had to refer to my go-to word bible "Urban Dictionary" to get a G word because, honestly, I'm just not feelin it today. Maybe it's the day, or the letter, but I didn't want to do another "deep" word and I couldn't think of anything else. Urban Dictionary is wonderful if you need to laugh or if you need to get a word for a challenge on a day you just aren't feelin it! =) But, since this is a challenge and I honor my commitments, here it goes. Googleheimer's is defined as: "The condition where you think of something you want to Google, but by the time you get to your computer, you have forgotten what it was. Very prevalent in the 420 community.
I've got Googleheimer's so bad that between the garage and the office, I forgot what I was going to look up". This happens a LOT. I go to google an area doctor for work and I forget why. I'm glad it's a termed condition because I can't be the only Googleheimer out there!!! =)

Monday, April 7, 2014

Game of Thrones Season Premiere

GAME OF THRONES IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to all-caps scream that but I'm so excited!!! It was so good, and even if after 4 seasons I still can't remember all of the names of everyone (it's hard y'all!), I will do my best to recap. The hard part about this show is that there are so many characters...but again, I will do my best.

Tywin Lannister, one of the worst Lannister's (which says a LOT!) is taking the sword of Ned Stark and making it into two swords: One for Joffrey the Jerk (errr King) and one for Jamie. We see a flashback to when Ned was taken from us by his own sword...and it hurt to relive it =( Tywin presents the sword to Jamie and is un-shockingly mean to him. He basically tells him that becuase he is now one handed, the sword is useless to him. Jamie says (paraphrasing a bit here) "Nah, it just makes defeatinig people a challenge now". GO JAMIE. Tywin then tells him that he must leave Kings Landing and return to Casterly Rock where the Lannister's also rule. Jamie flat out says "NO". Tywin, not used to hearing the word "NO" directed at him, tells him he doesn't have a choice. Jamie says "Oh yes I do" and tells his father he's not going anywhere. Oh. Snap.

Tyrion is waiting to welcome a King visiting from a neighboring land who hates the Lannisters but is coming to possibly keep the peace-or possibly kill some Lannisters at Joffrey's upcoming wedding. Tyrion is with his two sidekicks and they are funny together. The visitors come but they are not who Tyrion expected. The king was ill so he sent his younger brother in his place. Tyrion asks where the brother is and he is told that he arrived much earlier as he didn't want to deal with any greetings. Tyrion and his men immediately set off to find him at the local brothel because, well, this is GOT and the man has a reputation. We then meet this younger brother-Prince Oberyn. Prince Oberyn and his "girlfriend" are in the brothel picking their next lady to share their bed. They choose and the man that works there and was assisting them is told to stay by the Prince. The man insists he's "not for sale" but a hot Prince can pretty much have anything he wants-choice of men included. It looks like they're all about to get their groove on when the Prince hears someone mocking him and his land. He cannot get his groove on when someone is mocking him outside!!! So he goes to see some Lannisters serenading some prostitutes with basically their fight song. They bicker then Prince drills his sword through this guys hand to let him know he means business. Tyrion then appears and tries to talk to the Prince. Tyrion wants to keep the peace and Oberyn is letting him know that there will be no peace. He tells Tyrion that Tywin ordered his beloved sister, neice and nephew to be slaughtered brutally. She was married to a Targearean (I believe the Mad King's son?) and when the Mad King was killed, the whole family was killed as well. Oberyn loved his sister and her children and made it very clear that "The Lannister's aren't the only ones who pay their debt". Trouble!!!

We next see Khaleesi and her dragons. The dragons have gotten so big! Too big. She clearly is having trouble controlling them. Two of her guard members have gone to "gamble" instead of waiting for her to play with her kids. How rude. So she goes over to them where they are seeing who can hold their sword the longest. Khaleesi tells the basically to grow up and they are now riding in the back of the 1,000 plus entourage caboose. Poor Khaleesi and all these children around her. Later on, as they travel to a new city to conquer, they are met with the body of slave girl hanging crucification-style on a mile marker. There are 163 more of those. Khaleesi vows to see the face of every slave murdered, have them buried properly and will exact revenge for them. That's our girl!

Sansa is greiving the loss of her family at "The Red Wedding" (aren't we all??). She won't eat, can't sleep and Tyrion comes over to try to help his wife. Tyrion tells her that her mother was the epitome of strength and she would want Sansa to carry on. She tells Tyrion that she just wants be alone where noone talks to her to try to make her "feel better". She goes off for a walk where she can be alone and she is being followed by someone. It turns out it was a gentleman she saved a few seasons ago from Joffrey. He tells her that he owes her his life and he wants the symbol of his name-a GORGEOUS necklace heirloom-to live on. She is brought back to life a bit and tells him that she will wear it proudly.

Jamie goes to see Cersei, who has a golden hand made for him. Jamie doesn't really want it but will do anything for his sister/love. Cersei has not changed a bit. She is still Queen biatch. She berates Jamie for him "leaving" her and losing his hand. Jamie tries to explain that he was captured, tortured and stayed alive only to return to her but that's not good enough for Precious Cersei. She coldly says "You took too long!" and prances out. Ugh. Like mother like son.

Their evil spawn Joffrey is making wedding day plans. I hope we have a red wedding redux and he dies a slow, horrible death...or something. He also mocks his Uncle/Dad Jamie for losing his hand and Jamie informs him confidently that there is still time to become a legend. Poor Jamie. He can't get no respect around there! He has a chat with his only true freind Brienne about how she wants him to keep the vow he made to protect the Stark girls. He says Arya is probably dead and Sansa is married to his brother-what can he do? But Brienne gets through to him and you can see that will help Sansa out if he can.

There were two scenes with Ygritte and Jon Snow (seperately) that weren't anything major. Basically Ygritte is still pissed off at Jon and she and her troop meet up with Cannibals who are cooking a human arm. Awesome. Jon kind of mourns the loss of his brother Rob and he and Sam have a cute scene where Jon admits he was always jealous of Rob. Sam says "Kind of like I was always jealous of you. You can do everything better than me-except read". Awwe. Jon has to go before a council who want him killed for sleeping with Ygritte. Jon gives them intel on where Ygritte and crew can be found so he effectively saves himself from being killed. Yay! Jon Snow must live forever. Or else.

The last scene is my favorite of the episode: It's Arya and the Hound. They are trolling through the woods sharing a horse. Arya wants her own and Hound makes fun of her for being a diva in the condition they are in. They happen upon a tavern where Arya spots the man who stole her sword-Polliver. Polliver killed her friend, tortured people around her and almost killed her as well. He stole "Needle" and she wants it back. Hound says "Of course you named your sword" but he tries to stop Arya from taking her vengence foolishly. They go into the tavern where Polliver recognizes Hound-but not Arya. Polliver's men are attempting to rape the tavern owner's daughter and they are just a horrific group. Polliver brags to the Hound on how he's tortured and killed people and the Hound is unimpressed. Hound tells him that he talks to much and he wants Polliver's chicken. Polliver is all "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?" and Hound keeps upping the chicken ante. He then takes a long drink and goes to work, killing most of Polliver's men. As Polliver lay on the floor wounded from the Hound, Arya is able to get Needle and repeat the words Polliver said when he killed her friend. Polliver's eyes open in horror and recognition and that's when Arya delivers Needle right through his throat. Arya and Hound leave with chicken and a horse for Arya. She is smiling with vindication and I'm afraid our sweet little Arya isn't so sweet anymore.

What did everyone think of the premiere???? I can't wait until next week where it looks like we will see Theon, Bran and others we've missed. See y'all next week!!!

A-Z Challenge: F is for Framily

We begin week two of this blogging challenge with the letter "F". The letter "F" on a Monday may suggest a word other than "Framily" but I will leave the obvious to others! =) Framily may not be a technical word yet but to me it's everything. Framily, as defined by me, are the friends you choose who become your family. I am extremely lucky to have several of these. My closest friends, the "inner circle" are my framily. They have been through everything with me: the good, the bad and in between. Death, birth, marriages, dating, breakups, makeups, mood swings, brain tumors, illness...there's been a lot and they have never left my side but, most importantly, they never left my son's side. They are my rock, my advice, my sanity. They are supportive in every way but they are not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong-which I've learned is invaluable. They are the epitome of loyalty, accpetance and love-everything that makes a family a family. And sometimes, what we are born into isn't always that. I am blessed to have some phenomenal family members but for those who aren't, my framily steps up and makes it all bearable. They have all the qualities I look for in people: they are funny as hell, kind, caring, loyal, down to earth and "real". What you see is what you get and again, I've found that to be invaluable as well. So, to my framily: I love you more than you can know. You know who you are and I appreciate you more than I can put in a blog. Especially over the past few years (and this past month), you all have stepped up and have been there for every tear, every laugh, every problem, everything. THANK YOU for all that you do and I love you my friends-my framily.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

A-Z challenge: E is for Embarrassing

Wow, already up to the letter "E"! This has been so fun. Getting an opportunity to read/share other's experiences has been such a treat. There are so many talented writers out there-thank you all for sharing your talents! My letter "E" is for sure "embarrassing". I feel like my life is a series of embarrassments. Honestly, I don't think a day goes by that I don't shake my head and ask "Why did you do that??" There are soooo many embarrassing scenarios that I could blog about. But I will narrow it down to a few. A few years back there was a cute doctor at work that all the girls had a crush on and referred to as "McDreamy". He was super nice and we would end up going for coffee around the same time. One day we're standing in line talking and I had a bunch of dollar bills in my wallet. So of course I speak without thinking and said "Wow, it looks like I made out good last night, huh?" He looked at me with utter confusion and I said " All these dollar bills. Like I'm a stripper. Hahaha". He continued to stare at me and I went into a 20 minute stammering speech on how I was kidding, I was not a stripper as all those dollar bills might suggest...he got his coffee and politely said goodbye. I got back to my office and told my friend that I was jumping into the water fountain across the way and ending it all right there. I changed my coffee times after that and saw McDreamy in passing, never really looking him in the eye again. Awesome. There were many other moments but another one that's burned forever in my memory was when we were driving down the southern coast of Ireland-it was just amazing. Ireland was a dream trip but of course I had to bring my Kellyness over there-why should the US be the only place I make a fool of myself??? They have animals that will just literally cross the road in herds and you have no choice but to stop and wait. This happened one day and we got out of the car to stretch our legs because it would be a while. The sheep seriously take their sweet ass time. There was a huge mound over on the side of the road, and over the mound was a view of the water that I wanted to take in. So, seeing as I am naturally graceful and stealthy, I decided I would climb the mound and see the view. My sister and friend said not to because they were afraid I would kill myself in Europe-and it's hard to arrange to fly a corpse back to the states. Defying their negativity and obvious jealousy of my athletic prowess, I did it. And I saw the most incredible view and was just in awe. So much in awe that I slipped, fell back and landed in the road. My sister and friend couldn't even ask if I was OK they were laughing so hard...and there were probably 8 cars behind us doing the same. I got up, dusted myself off, bowed to the cars and got into our car hiding until the sheep all safely crossed the road. They have not let me live it down since and it's one of the embarrassing things I do that I will remember forever.

Friday, April 4, 2014

A-Z Challenge: D is for Distance

Day 4 of this month long challenge...and this was a tough one. There are so many "D" words that I can blog about-"Douchekabob" (currently in trademark!), "Dance", "Dickhead"-how to choose? As with my friend Kevin, who introduced me to this challenge, I guess I have sort of a theme going (save for Crackhead! lol). I can only write about how I feel and what is affecting me at the moment and the theme I guess is personal crap? I don't even know what to call it but whatever it's called, it's whatever I am dealing with at the moment. Right now it's distance. There are many different kinds of distance but for me the ones I'm dealing with are: physical distance, professional distance and emotional distance. Distance is hard and can be overwhelming at times. It can also be a healing thing if you allow it. Physical distance for me is the easiest of the three. I mean, that's what computers and phones are for, right? I'm not someone that has to be with a person everyday. For the most part I'm pretty independent and enjoy people's company but don't necessarily need it. And the term "distance makes the heart grow fonder" was invented for people in long distance relationships. Physical distance can provide an even healthier emotional bond between two people because the sole way you are connecting is through talking, writing, coming from a place of emotion and not physical. Guards can be let down, things can be said that may be hard to say in front of someone. Professional distance is the middle ground for me. Right now I'm in a transition in my career where I can see the big picture-study, pass the tests, get your license and your dreams come true. But that's still in the distance-not a long distance in the grand scheme of things, but it's not happening tomorrow. But the thing is, with distance and time, you can allow doubt to creep in. "Am I smart enough to pass these tests? What if I fail??? What if the Zombiepocolypse occurs before the test happens, then what????? I've stopped working on survival skills in order to study!" On the flip side of that, you have to push back and say "What if I pass?? How big is the party going to be??? How many people to invite??? Will it be Zombie themed???" =) And then there is the worst for me personally: Emotional distance. Emotional distance can almost institutionalize me. I would rather go a year without seeing someone, communicating whenever we can than to know that the person is within reach physically but emotionally is completely distant. That is the hardest thing in the world for me to handle and the hardest thing in the world for me to understand and accept. I have this complete inability to shut people out-if someone reaches out to me, I HAVE to reach back. It's a compulsion really. In my life, if there is one thing I've learned, is that time and life are not guaranteed. They're just not. And the biggest regret people have is what they DIDN'T say, what they DIDN'T do. How could I play a part in that sort of regret for someone else? Currently I am going through the physical/emotional distance with someone I care very much for...and it's one of the most difficult things I've ever experienced. It's an odd thing really, to have two people together that have polar opposite reactions to things but yet truly care about each other. To be so distant but to know at the end of it there is something special there, something neither person has allowed themselves to experience in such a long time...and that if the stars align and if the dew point is at a certain degree, it will all work out and be worth it in the end. I don't know what else to say about it except: Distance. It can really be a bitch.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

A-Z CHALLENGE: C is for Crackhead

Let me preface this blog by apologizing in advance if I offend any crackheads out there. Please know this comes from a place of adoration. I love crackheads. I do. I have met several, been called one many times by my beloved sister and have been hit on by a few. They bring me joy-the funny ones anyway. The ones who are aware that they are crackheads but just go with it-YOLO! There are two crackcidents that come to mind. My first run in with a crackhead was when I was 13 years old and attended my second concert ever at Clubland in Worcester-it was House of Pain. It was amazing. After the concert my friend and I were waiting outside for her mom to come get us and we were approached by two crackheads. Now being two relatively sheltered 13 year old girls, we were friendly because we didn't know any better. We had never encountered crackheads before-we didn't really travel in the same circles. They ask us if we had drugs and we didn't-we had never even seen a drug in real life. We were appalled! Then they start to tell us where we can get drugs and that we should follow them. We looked at each other and we didn't know what to do. Our panic must have been visible because it was then that a really big gentleman came over to us asking if we were OK. We said no, we were scared and we didn't want to follow the crackheads to get drugs! The gentleman told them to leave us alone before he called the cops. All of a sudden about 20 people ran over to where we were yelling "We want your autograph!!" It turns out the gentleman that saved us from potential human trafficking was Eric B of Eric B and Rakim. We had no idea who he was but when we spotted her mother's car, we RAN into it, never looking back. Of course after that we found out who Eric B was and he will forever be my hero. My second crackcident happened about a month ago. I work a few days a week at a hospital in downtown Worcester (the place where crackhead dreams come true!) and this was my first day back there after about a year of working at another site. I was so happy to be back to my "home" since I had worked there for 7 years previously. I ran into two doctors that I hadn't seen in a while and we were catching up. A med seeking crackhead approached us and was talking to me specifically, asking who I was and if I hurt when I fell from Heaven. Now these doctors, who know me pretty well, knew I could handle this. He asked for my name and I said "It's Crystal Chandelier. I work over at Hurricane Betty's (a local strip club) and I'm just here for my weekly penicillin. Come see me at Betty's though!" One of the doctor's spit out his coffee and they both bought me coffees for the week. It was a great first day back and it was a crackcident that I won't soon forget.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

A-Z challenge-B is for Boy

Day 2 of the month long blogging challenge! So far so good =) The letter B for me is, without a doubt, BOY. Nine years ago, when I found out I was pregnant, after the shock wore off I just "knew" I was having a girl. There was no doubt in my mind-I had her name picked out, the crib bedding, the theme to her nursery...it was all planned. When I went for my ultrasound I couldn't wait to see my baby girl. When the ultrasound tech got my baby up on the screen, I fell in love. So deeply in love. There was this perfect little baby moving around, healthy and just so beautiful. She then announced that that I was actually having a BOY. I said "No, no. I'm having a girl. You're wrong. It's a girl". She said "Oh no sweetie you're having a very proud boy-there is no doubt about it". That's when all I "knew" crashed in and deep panic set in. What would I do with a boy??? I know the color pink, I know princesses, dolls, tutu's...and at this point I was already a single mom. What could I teach a boy? I have the athletic coordination of a bull in a china shop. I felt like a failure before he even got here. Then, I looked at the screen and I swear to you his little hand moved in a motion like he was waving. I looked at that little miracle and everything else subsided. As with everything else in my life, I would figure it out. It wouldn't be easy but we would learn together. Now I'm not 100% girly girl, I do love the Red Sox and Patriots. So I went out and picked out new crib bedding, a new theme (All Star)and got every little sports outfit I could find. The day he was born and the doctor put him on my chest,I fell so completely in love that I knew whatever this little boy needed, whatever life would throw at us, I would handle it because he was the single most important thing on the planet. It hasn't been easy and to this day I still struggle with the "boy" stuff. He's loud, active, messy, always on the go, and LOVES to play all sports. He's a boy in every sense of the word. But he's also sweet, sensitive, and has a heart that I swear is made of pure gold. He has such a capacity to love and empathize with people that he sometimes takes my breath away. That little boy has changed my life in every way possible. He is my walking/talking heart and soul and I could not imagine my life without him. Girls are great and all but I've learned that nothing compares to the love between a mom and her son. #TeamBoy!!! =)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A-Z blogging...the letter A. Acceptance.

I've decided to start this blogging challenge with an "A" word that is a challenge for me in real life: Acceptance. Acceptance can be a hard thing for people, I know it can be for me. Accepting life and our absolute lack of control in it, accepting there are situations far beyond our control and our lack of control over that, and accepting people for who they are and NOT who we want them to be-and once again our complete lack of control of that as well. The last one is the hardest for me personally. Human beings are wired for certain things: we seek love, we seek affection, and we seek acceptance. It's rare to find someone who can accept you for the person you are: who can see you at your worst, but who can accept that and focus on what they see when you're at your best. And it is hard to accept that in someone else as well. We all have a certain duality to us: the "good" and the "bad" side as it's referred to. To accept that in ourselves is hard, but it might be harder still to accept that in others. Personally, I have to learn to accept that in myself as well as in others. If I trust someone else enough to show them my worst, shouldn't I accept and honor that when it's shown to me as well? And shouldn't we ALL do that for people we care about? Showing others that it's ok to be who you are-the total and complete all of you. Not just the shiny, happy and "pretty" parts of you. The raw, the emotional, the intense,the "ugly", the HUMAN parts as well. We ALL have them and we all present them differently. I think if we start accepting each other for ALL of what we are, since we all are so multifaceted and think/react differently than others will, we would all be a lot better off. Accpeting life as what it is and people for who they are...that could be the start of a wonderful thing.

The Finale-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???

So the season finale of "The Walking Dead" happened. And it sure did happen! I still don't know what to think about it to be honest. Maybe we can figure it out together as the whole Carl nearly being raped thing is still pretty heavy on my mind=(

Rick and Michonne are together watching out for walkers and Carl is in a car they found trying to rest. Rick is having flashbacks to Herschel (God is he missed!) and their time at the prison. He is remembering some lessons Herschel taught him about being a leader and most importanly being a father. After a flashback, there is a rustling in the woods...is it a walker? A deer? Nope. It's the chain gang and they found their prey. The gang from hell ambushes Rick and Michonne and a very disgusting "man" sets his site on Carl. Joe announces that they will rape and kill Michonne and Carl and then kill Rick after he watches his loved ones die. Darryl appears and tries to take up for his true friends and tells Joe they are good people and to take Darryl's life instead. Joe then calls Darryl a liar as Rick killed his friend so he IS a bad man-and orders Darryl to be beat to death by two of his thugs. Michonne is battling another thug, Rick is taking a beating by Joe and this disgusting, horrific guy has gotten Carl out of the car and has Carl pinned to the ground on his belly and clearly is a pedophile happily waiting for his prey. Rick sees this happening to his son and does something that only a parent about to witness the worst imaginable thing to happen to his child could do: he BITES Joe's jugular like an animal and kills him! This gives Michonne some incentive and turns the gun on the guy she's fighting and kills him. She shoots one of the guys Darryl is fighting and Darryl kills the other guy. The guy about to rape Carl is left staring at this turn of events in shock and fear: he knows he's next. Rick says "Oh he's mine" and guts the prick with everything that he has. Carl, in the saftey of Michonne's arms, watches his dad kill his would-be attacker. Any parent can look at this and nod their head with approval because we ALL would do that-though I personally would have gone lower than the navel. To each his own though. Carl, who was already bordering on sociopathic tendencies, I think will be forever changed by this and may go full-sociopath. He is in shock and his head is on Michonne's lap, the adults discuss going to Terminus. They all express doubts about it but agree they have to check it out. So off to Terminus they tredge.

Rick, getting his Rickness back and how, decides that they will go to Terminus but decides they will check it out first from an angle they can't be seen before they announce they are there. They split up to scope out the premesis, Michonne and Carl go together. Michonne, seeing that Carl is not ok and is probably scared of the violence his dad is capable of, opens up to Carl about her son Andre. He was taken by zombies on a day Michonne left him with his dad Mike and Uncle Terry. The walkers got Mike and Terry as well but she decided to keep Mike and Terry on chains, making them incapable of biting or killing anyone to serve as a reminder to her-and in the process they helped her stay alive by acting as a zombie shield. She says that she was "gone" for a long time and that Andrea, Rick and Carl brought her back and gave her life again. Awwwwe. Carl insists that he's not afraid of his dad because, he says, "I'm just another monster too". Michonne hugs him tight as only a mom can do while Rick looks on. Finding a side entrance,they all hop a fence and go into a building where there are roughly 5 weirdos...errr people...working on more Terminus signs and some lady on a radio transmitter. Rick, seing their surprise at their new visitors, says "hello". Main weirdo Gareth looks a little preturbed at the surprise visitors but nonetheless goes into the "welcome to Terminus" speil. They are offered sanctuary and food...from the grill. Oh no. Before they can eat Beth...I mean, the food prepared for them from THAT grill, Rick spots Maggies poncho and most importantly Glenn's pocketwatch. Rick immediately pulls his gun on the guy who has Glenn's watch and they then run like hell out of there. They happen upon what looks to be a sacrificial room with candles and the words "NEVER AGAIN" NEVER TRUST" WE, FIRST, ALWAYS" on the walls...psychooooo!!! They make it outside where they are surrounded by a bunch of other weirdos with guns. Seeing as they are outnumbered, they surrender their weapons and are told to go into a train side car. It is there that they find Maggie, Glenn, Bob, Sasha, Tara, Abraham, and EUGENE!! Sigh. Maggie explains that the newbies are their friends who helped them and Darryl and Rick immediately state that they are now friends of theirs now too. Rick is clearly in Heaven to be reunited with lost members of his "family". We are seeing the Rick we knew from the first two seasons-patriarch, leader, and protector of his family. He is not afraid of these freaks-why would he be? They've fought worse. They've seen worse and have lived through worse. And this new/old Rick is NOT the Rick that will wallow in his losses or fear adversity. He is going to make these people pay and his ending line says it all: "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out". EUGENE (sigh): "Find out what?" Rick: "They're screwin' with the WRONG people".

So that's the finale. What did everyone think? I think it left a lot unanswered still: Where is Beth??? Is she grill food???? Will Carol and Tyrese fall victim to Terminus where it's just the two of them or will they reunite with Rick and Crew and really take over Terminus??? What is the deal with these weirdos???? Season 5 is sure to start off with a bang with most of our core group together and who are ready to kick ass and take names! I do love how they ended with them being so strong and in tact. Thank you all for reading this and supporting this over the season. I will be doing a Game of Thrones blog to pass the time until The Walking Dead comes back. But again thank you all!!!!! What a great season! =)